Living with Hashimotos: The Great Sucker

I know! It's a strange title, but when I set out to put a title to this I couldn't think of a fitting description for what I wanted to talk about how Hashimotos sucked out my creativity out of me.

Very early on before diagnosis I began experiencing anxiety. It increased exponentially through out the years, egged on by the death of my mom, a bad job situation, and other life happenings. The harder I fought to control things, the more the anxiety flared. As the chaos in brain increased I often found that the only real peace I had was when I would escape into my writing. I was able to put it all behind me and create another world... a world I could control. But after several large anxiety attacks my doctor suggested that I go on medication. I really didn't want to do it. I heard that I could lose the edge of my creativity... or in my case, possibly lose the sanity I sought. Finally, he talked me into it and I found myself still being able to write. It was great. After a long period after my initial books were published I began to write viable fiction again. I even moved into another genre, stretching my wings.

But then the anxiety began to override the medication. The attacks came back. I wasn't sleeping and though I could write, I could concentrate on any one work. It was around then that I was diagnosed with Hashimotos. That was a year ago. I am now on thyroid medication and despite some issues with getting used to the medication, I find that the greatest things is that my clarity and creativity are returning! I couldn't be happier.

Today, I'm going to the first writers meeting in over a year. I am going to go with no expectations and no pressures for myself and I am going to go and enjoy being surrounded by people who understand what it is to have characters and plots running around in your head that you want to put on the page.

The lesson here: Don't think that those things you treasure, such as peace of mind and creativity are lost to you in the chaos of your diagnosis. It is possible to get those things back.



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